The Naked Kiss, 1963 original Half Sheet

The Naked Kiss, 1963

Written and Directed by Simon Fuller

Lured by the skanky title and the promise of a trashy time I hit the play button. Swack! Swack! Swack! A pocketbook is swinging like a propeller blade. Behind it a black bra-clad bald hooker appears, hell bent on kicking the s**t out of a drunken pimp. I’m hooked.

The Naked Kiss, a pulpy title with a creepy connotation, is a divine send-up of female melodrama and saint/sinner cliques. The hooker with a heart of gold. The Sleezy cop. A perfect, yet hypocritical small town. Only a master could spin a tale this wacky and not let the plates crash. Only a master could teeter between Cheeze and Arteeze. Bravo Simon Fuller.

***Spoiler Alert****

Apre-pimp busting ajustment

At the center of Fuller’s  fractured Alger-tale is Constance Towers as hooker Kelly. (The inspiration for The Bride in Kill Bill?) Towers stalks the line of cool calculating tart, avenging ball buster, and schmaltzy saint.  After kicking some pimp ass, we find Kelly peddling champagne, aka  “cork popping”. After sampling her wares, Griff, the local sheriff, advises her to join the other bon bons at Candy’s across the River and to stay out of his town.

Instead, Kelly stays in Grantville and rents a room. The loopy landlady likes her honest face (a refrain) and proceeds to tells her about a job at the children’s hospital funded by the town Philanthropist/Multimillionaire. Oh, BTW  J.L. Grant is available!! Kelly’s ears perk up.

In a twinkle cripples are walking and Kelly is in love — her past is just a dream. But Griff is miffed. Kelly is not one of Candy’s Bon Bon’s– he was so hoping to get…—ff. Now he’s out for her. So is Candy. Diamond-dusted dreams turns to horror on a dime. Now Kelly is worse off than ever and without a friend! Oh No!

Good stuff: Cheezy sixties situations. Plot twists. Great Cat fights in Candy’s House of Bon Bons.

Groaners: Lack of discernible acting talent from a few supporting players. Griff is remarkably funny in the wrong places. And the town playboy is bad in a Twilight Gallery way, so it kind of fits.

Exceptional: Cinematographer Stanley Cortez’s black and white photography mirrors the contrasts existing in the town,  and the contrast is more intense as evil seems to win. Witness the prison scenes and the “horror” scene.  Cortez was also responsible for The Magnificent Ambersons and Night Of The Hunter, so he knew his stuff. Apparently it’s worth it to watch this on the The Criterion Collection edition issued last year along with Shock Corridor just to appreciate the magnificence of Cortez’s cinematography. Salute.

Condition:

The Naked Kiss, 1963, Original Vintage Half Sheet, Near Mint. Paper backed. light restoration. Photo may appear more “yellow” than poster is. Poster has experienced no tanning or loss of color.